My whole first year of college ball was the opposite of my expectations...

Growing up I always attributed my morals and decision making skills to just being observant and cautious. I knew what was right, and what was wrong. I knew what things would get me in trouble with my parents even though it wasn't illegal. I knew that there were consequences to my actions. Now as an adult, I wonder if all of these thoughts that I claim to have acquired on my own, actually came from the expectations that my parents set on me. I was the oldest kid in my house and was often left with the responsibility of watching over and "protecting" my younger siblings. I put quotations because it is funny how much young teenagers think that they actually can physically protect people from adults who intend harm. If I was ever put in a situation where I had to put myself in harm's way to allow my siblings an escape or time to go get help, I would have. I was fortunate to never have to resort to that level of protection. The extent of what was required of me at the time was just making sure that stupid decisions were not made and that all of our imposed responsibilities were taken care of. Back then it felt like the weight of the world just balancing taking care of and expressing my own individuality and looking after those who looked up to me. I remember one day in particular when I wanted to attend a party that some of my high school friends were attending. Instead of receiving guidance on why that was not in the best interest for my future, I was met with the hard no and asked to stay home to help watch my siblings. I was much more valuable at home helping out while my mother, who just got home from work, was preparing dinner and the nighttime routines. Nonetheless, I was distraught and unwillingly, knowing the repercussions of what was about to come out of my mouth, yelled at my mother about how I am always looking after my infant brother and basically am his second mom. If I use my imagination to think back to what was going through my head, it was the fear of not being relevant, missing out on the nothingness that was occurring a few miles away from where I lived. At a house of a person that I barely knew, full of a bunch of my peers who were partaking in activities they definitely shouldn't have been doing at that age. I expected my mother to deny my request, but why was I so angry when she actually did? What was it that I felt was so urgent and important that I didn't want to be there to help my mother and further build a connection with my siblings? A deeper connection that I still long for to this day, mind you. Women, alcohol, my friends who I have only known for 2-3 years at this time. It all seemed so worth it to a high school boy.

Fast forwarding to college, I had set goals and a path for myself. Although it lacked real sustenance and direction, and was not backed by any precedent of what opportunities were present, I went into my first summer semester determined to accomplish 1 thing in particular. I wanted to be an All-American D1 football player by the time I graduated. Rooting this idea off of my success in football, and athletics overall, in high school, I figured I would just have to prove my value to my coaches and the goal was easily attainable. My whole first year of college ball was the opposite of my expectations. A first year head coach who was convinced that "toughness" was the answer to all of life's problems, a humbling academic experience, the level of competition internally and externally, all tied together with a 1-11 record, set the stage for a reality check. Maybe my mother has a more accurate perception of how many phone calls I made back home, but I quickly lost sight of what I wanted. Being a D1 college athlete was so foreign to me prior to actually becoming one that I had a skewed perception of what I was walking into. I am not saying that I should have chosen a lesser goal or that what I wanted to get out of my experience was unattainable. It very much was right there for the taking, I just couldn't see the path.

My main misconception with expectations is that I could do it all alone and without all of the necessary information. I knew that I was capable, I just lacked the focus and dedication that it took to find the path and stick to it. Why? Maybe I just expected the opportunities to come to me and that I would take advantage of them as they showed up. I didn't even mention self imposed distractions. Women, weed, and the weather seemed to dictate the projection of my entire college career after that initial shock. To say that I would do it all differently is a waste of time. You can't go backwards and change anything, just learn from it. This is the root of the origin of TooMorrow LLC. To figure out how to be better than the previous day and to make the next one better than you can currently fathom.

All in all, I have found that your expectations of whatever it is that you are going through in life can sometimes be lacking in the information department. Having a plan, a detailed outlined path to your end goal, with checkpoints along the way will lessen the gap between expectations and reality in uncharted territory. You can not go about life expecting things will just work itself out. Thats not how the world was intended to be enjoyed, nor how current society is set up. Merit and expectations go hand and hand. You can only expect as much as you work. If you are not putting in effort, your expectations cannot be those of a great return. If so, you are setting yourself up for failure, setting yourself up for disappointment, and at a minimum setting yourself up for a future reflection session analyzing all of the things that didn’t go accordingly. So how do we remedy this? In short, WORK today for a better TooMorrow!